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Guilty!Guilty!Guilty! I am Guilty as charged.

What is my charge you may wonder…..well…I AM FEMALE!  Apparently, it is a crime to be Female around the world. Below I will share some instances where the “Female” title led to their conviction.

Most  societies are Patriarchal and Wikipedia defines this as ‘ A social system in which Males hold primary power.” Thus historically and amazingly even now, most societies believe males are better than females. Cases of the girl child being killed at birth, to save her family of the “shame” of having a daughter are still rampant. Women are chased from their “matrimonial homes” for not bearing children because, the woman is always guilty!, the problem could never be the man. Woe unto you also, if you  do not give birth to as many children as “your man” dictates, regardless of whether your womb or body can support it, or if he can even provide for the family. Your man has demanded, it is your duty to deliver.

Then there are crimes being hidden under the guise of customs. Humanity has even found  “safe words”  to call them, so they do not sound as bad. Child brides still exist, or what I prefer to call, “girls being raped daily” under the guise of “brides.” There are communities that will marry off girls as young as 5 to be wives in all descriptions of the word, yes including engaging in sex with them. Girls who should be in school, playing, singing and laughing without a care in the world, are now “married” to older men and thus their innocence stolen. We need to remove the tag “Child Brides” as it seems to encourage the perpetrators because to them, to him, he has a “wife”. Lets call a spade a spade, these girls, these children are being subjected to “Rape”, “Molestation”, “Abuse” and society is  handing them over to “Paedophiles”. No, these should not be referred to as “husbands”. they are “Rapists” and should be charged as such, “Rapists”. I forget, this is a “Man’s World”, he determines what terminology we can use and what penalty is adequate, including “legally” having her termed as his “wife.”

Then there is Female Genital Mutilation. I hope you noted its Mutilation and not beautification, a fact that even those I have engaged with and have undergone the cut have confirmed to me. I have met girls, I have met ladies either who have “faced the knife” or “are about to “face the knife” in the near future. I ask “Why”? There response is almost automatic, “I will not get a husband”, ” I will not be considered a woman”, I have no choice”, “My family will disown me”. None to date have given me an inkling to this vice being a life saving need for them. To them, it is something that society requires of them and they must abide. It is dictated to them from the “outside” and yes, you guessed right, the loudest voice is the “male voice”. The veiled reason in most cases is, “How will my husband know I am chaste”?, “The men will perceive me as immoral”, “My father will not be able to get enough dowry”…… Lest we forget, many girls die during the process, it is illegal in many countries including Kenya, yet, it is still prevalent.

Then we hear of rape victims. Victims people, victims…But you will be surprised by what comes out first from people’s mouths. Not shock, not sympathy, not, lets go report.. First question, ” What was she wearing?”and I wonder, is there a “Rape Me” outfit? There is no reason for rape, no excuse for rape and no, not even miniscule dressing or nudity is an excuse. Like seriously, does that mean that the 9 month old baby deserved it, because she was wearing diapers that were exposed as she crawled on the floor? Did she ooze all forms of “come hither” to her assailant and thus deserved it? What of the 90 year old lady, who walks bent at the waist because of old age thus making her back side sashay from right to left.  Did these seductive moves entice her attacker and thus grant him the right to rape her? What of the the girl in her pretty dress, did she deserve it because he could see her seductive arms and legs thus “she asked for it?’  What of the women who are stripped because a man deemed her outfit inappropriate and thus opted to strip her of it, to teach her a lesson on “modesty”. As her self appointed teacher on all matters dressing, is he entitled to touch, tear and see more as a practical lesson to her?  The irony I tell you, the irony. I wonder, what happened to self control, being your sisters/brothers keeper or are those “myths?’ I forget, the men decide what is right or wrong for the woman, it’s a Mans World and she must abide by his rules.

A man can marry as many women as he wishes and need not consult his wife-this is the poligamy law in Kenya and many other countries.The 2013-2017 Kenyan parliament which was dominantly male, saw it fit to sit, discuss and  pass a bill declaring that a man does not need to consult his wife when he chooses to bring in another. Issues of poverty, diseases, corruption, child abuse, terrorism , GDP, education were not as urgent,  their personal outlook on polygamy had to be passed as legislation.They needed to show women who was boss and what better way to do it than ensure it is in the constitution thus cannot be challenged. Like seriously, why consult your wife over the changes in their home, I forgot, it is his home and she is merely a caretaker who can be dismissed at will.  She gets the perks of sharing his bed and bearing him children, gosh, shouldn’t she be grateful for the opportunity to be called his.? Note, this is regardless of whether he can even take care of the first home.

Women, though guilty, hold your heads up high and do not bow or cower to our accusers. We should not leave the status quo as is, we should change it for ourselves and the coming generations. Lets tell the girls they are beautiful from day one, that they are worth every breath they take, they are intelligent, they can accomplish anything they put their minds to and they have a voice, even if it is a whisper. What worries me sometime is that  “Women”, are also the perpetrators of the same ills. The FGM crusaders also include women, the “shamers”, the “segregators” are also sometimes other women. Why they opt to side with the “other side”, knowing full well what these actions did to their lives,  will forever boggle my mind. It seems like there is solace in company, even if it is at the expense of another’s joy or life.  To the men, you are meant to be protectors, you are the fathers, husbands, sons, brothers of the women and more so the perpetrators. Congratulations and thanks to the men who have already taken up their role seriously and are protecting the “females”. If more men shun men who rape children, men abhor FGM, men empathise with the women and opt to take a stand against the ills, indeed the change will be faster. The “Men made the Rules”, the “Men can abolish the Rules”.



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